What if I said I just wanted to slit my wrists and end this bullshit. Down that bottle of sleeping pills and the bottle of captain ontop of the fridge. What if I took all the money I had and put it and it all in one needle. Drive that spike into my vein and breathe out for the last time. You were supposed to be there for me and love me no matter how much shit we have been through. You had my child in you. You laid in my bed for over 2 years almost every night. You were ny other half. Now I’m incomplete, just a fragment of my former self. Without you what am I? Our life together was complicated, hard and sometimes crazy. But most of all Angela it was beautiful, meaningful, and formed such a strong bond. That I wouldn’t trade for anythsing. I love you Angela Lee Seelye. Ill see you someday.
One day we will be together again…. yeah thats some bullshit. To think I believed you.
My hoodie still smells like you
I can’t bring myself to wash it.
Every time I breathe,
I inhale your scent
And exhale the reality that what we had is long gone.
My eyes have you memorized.
Your smile greets me as i close them,
But it is gone as soon as they’re opened-
Without a hint of goodbye.
I hear your laugh in the silence.
So I’m a recovering drug addict. And yes I have rough days, but nothing is worth me going back out and doing the dirt I had to do to get that one more. I’m going to start to make my blog about recovery and try to help as many people as I can. I may not have the most amount of clean time and I may not be old enough to some people to help them. But I’m going to try. This life I’m living is so much better without drugs in it and I hope someone else can find the peace that I have within